Friday, May 23, 2008

Larry Craig "Bobblefoot" Day!



Larry Who?

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posted by Stash @ 10:35 PM

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Sunday, September 16, 2007

GOP-Harmony.com!



Two men in suits appear on screen. Their faces are blurred.

MAN #1
It’s hard when you’re holding hands with someone at a prayer breakfast and wondering, am I feeling more than the power of Jesus?

Cut to another pair of men, also dressed in suits.

MAN #3
The guys I’d meet randomly would find out I’m a Republican and want to get into it about Bush. I’d tell them, hey, if I wanted to get into bush, I’d be home with my wife.

MAN #2
Yeah, I didn't hire you to be the speaker, I hired you to be the whip!

Cut to the GOP-Harmony spokesman.

SPOKESMAN
At GOP-Harmony, we put you in touch with conservative congressmen, party leaders, and “reporters” looking for someone special for at least 15 minutes. We use 29 distinct items to match you to the perfect liaison.

Some of the categories float by: Denial, Self-Loathing, Committee Memberships, Inseam

Cut back to #3 and #4, holding hands.

MAN #4
It’s not easy to find a man who’s into tax cuts, nation building, and bare-backing. (raises his partner’s hand) But I did!

MAN #3
I'd look like a real hypocrite if I used condoms—I’m chair of the Presidential Commission on Abstinence!

SPOKESMAN
With GOP-Harmony, you don’t have to worry about messy exposés or embarrassing mug shots. We rigorously check out all of our members, weeding out officers, agents, reporters, bloggers….

Cut to another pair of men. One is dressed as Ronald Reagan, the other as Nancy.

REAGAN MAN
Now I never have to ask, “Are you a cop or from The New York Times?”

NANCY MAN
Unless we’re role-playing! (laughs)

SPOKESMAN
And you have our GOP-Harmony Guarantee—none of the men you’ll meet are gay!

Cut back to the first two men.

MAN #2
When people ask me if I’m gay, I ask them, “If I was gay, would I be voting against gay marriage?”

MAN #1
Exactly! I just want to have sex with guys, not a relationship with them.

MAN #2
Thank you, GOP-Harmony!

Cut to the Spokesman.

SPOKESMAN
So what are you waiting for, a subpoena? Go online today to complete your confidential, fully encrypted GOP-Harmony profile. Act now and you’ll also receive our free, full color Congressional Page-a-Day calendar, the perfect way to get up in the morning!

Circle Jerk at the Square Dance

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posted by Stash @ 10:37 PM

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Lusty Larry - Tap Three Times



Found it at BlogActive.

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posted by Stash @ 9:25 PM

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Republicans Gone Wild 2


Will Durst on BuzzFlash

If you're one of the millions still rolling on the floor in amazement at the greed and hypocrisy featured in last year's surprise hit: "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD", throw that DVD away. Because you're not going to believe the extreme and hilarious action we've compiled for you in the brand new "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2."

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll kiss any chance of them recapturing Congress goodbye. But you'll never forget this brand new, never-before-seen footage featuring their patented wide stances and narrow minds. You've seen their breakdowns on television. You've read about their exploits in the newspapers. You've witnessed their Family Values blustering for years. Now relive their blathering and blubbering at your leisure.

Here it is... the ultimate collection of the most crazed and sexed up elected official footage ever accumulated on one DVD. "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2" has it all! At the malls, inside stalls, even in the halls of the Capitol. "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2" will have you saying "Jiminy."

You may think the Republican Party needs this the same way a three-legged armadillo needs a rabid badger gnawing at his last remaining front paw on the gravel shoulder of I-95 in the dead of night. And you'd be right! Conduct unbecoming a senator? Conduct unbecoming a weasel.

All the hilarious escapades you loved in "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD" are back, only bigger and better and sleazier than ever in "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 2". The crazy zany antics of Jack Abramoff, Mark Foley, Duke Cunningham, and Bob Ney will PALE next to this madcap collection of weird and wacky wildness.

100% raw, real, and uncut! Wild solo gaffes. Congressman-on-congressman action. '08 Presidential candidates hiding their faces behind their hands mumbling for Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig to "just go away. Please, go away." Plus much, much more. See them lie, deny, and just plain cry.

All your favorite 2007 moments are here.

* Gasp as chastised Louisiana Senator David Vitter, southern regional chair of the Giuliani campaign, admits to frequenting a house of prostitution, but avoids any further questions by saying the matter is between his family and God.
* Inhale as newly elected millionaire South Carolina Treasurer Thomas Ravenel, chair of the SC Giuliani campaign, is charged with conspiracy to distribute a quantity of cocaine, carrying a possible sentence of 20 years in prison.
* Guffaw as Robert W. Allen, co-chair of Sen. John McCain's Florida legislative leadership team, is arrested for soliciting prostitution from an undercover police officer posing as a transvestite in a public park restroom but says he was intimidated into it due to being the only white guy in the area.
* Thrill as Idaho Senator Larry Craig, Mitt Romney's '08 GOP Senate coordinator, announces to the world "I am not gay. I have never been gay." Then repeats it about 87 times and thanks those in attendance "for coming out today."

Become a member of the "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD Pioneers Club," and enjoy instant access to a special Web site and all the "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD" archives. 24/7. Republicans never sleep. Why should you? Get exclusive clips not available anywhere else. Updated daily. NOTE: "REPUBLICANS GONE WILD 3", being compiled by assistant DAs all over America as we speak. Act within the next 48 hours and get a free "FOLEY/CRAIG '08" bumper sticker!

willdurst.com

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posted by Stash @ 10:50 AM

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